“Can This Marriage Be Saved?”
Wow! Doesn’t that question just get to the heart of the matter? I just got off the phone with “Gina.” Those were the first words out of her mouth, “Can this marriage be saved?” She continued, “I...
View ArticleIt Is NOT Enough To Just Stop A Divorce
You may be at my blog for any number of reasons: saving a relationship, stopping a divorce, addressing an affair, thinking about a separation. Likely, you are here because of a marriage crisis, not...
View Article‘Tis The Season. . . For Breakups!
The air is filled with the lights and sounds of the holiday season! People are bustling around, making their plans. Malls and stores are full of shoppers. The smell of spices and cookies hangs in...
View ArticleRule #4: Use Civility — Even When You Don’t Feel It!
I remember years ago hearing a Native American quote that we are all born with claws and fangs, but learn to use them as nails and teeth. Unfortunately, it takes very little for the fangs and claws to...
View ArticleRule 5: Accept that You and Your Spouse See Things Differently
Perspective. An important word. Your perspective is the position from which you view the world. You formed your perspective over a lifetime. It starts with your genetic makeup, then your gender shapes...
View ArticleSave Your Marriage Rule #7: Avoid Power Struggles
When I was a boy, I went off to summer camp in the mountains of Virginia. My Mom would tell you I was not ready for summer camp and didn’t like it. She would be, for the most part, correct. Her...
View ArticleSecrets To Save Your Marriage
As you may suspect, after a quarter century of working with couples, I have some opinions on what it takes to save your marriage. In this article, I want to take a look at some of the research and...
View ArticleIs Your Marriage Chronically Stuck and Acutely Painful?: #42 Save Your...
Is your marriage in a chronic state of stuck? Does your relationship suffer from acute periods of pain? Often, those moments of acute pain lead to a chronic state of “stuck.” But that chronic state...
View ArticleAre You Courageously Compassionate? Doing What Needs To Be Done: #49 Save...
When we feel close to someone, compassion is easy. It comes naturally. But when we are hurt or angry, when we feel disconnection from someone, compassion is harder. That is when you have to be...
View ArticleThe Science of Saving Your Marriage: #65 Save Your Marriage Podcast
Sometimes, it all just seems like opinion. Lots of people with lots of opinion on what you should do to save your marriage. But what DOES science tell us about saving your relationship? It turns out,...
View ArticleSeparation: Can It Save Your Marriage (Or Cost You A Marriage)?
You want to save your marriage. Your spouse seems to only want to destroy it. That is a pretty common scenario for people who visit my website. And so, I often have the question asked, “Should we...
View ArticleThe First Thing That MUST Change. . .
“Jack” was dancing around my office: pacing, sitting, jumping up, sitting down, pacing. . . . Jack’s wife just revealed that she did not want to stay married. 22 years of marriage. Gone. Jack was in...
View ArticleTop 10 Myths About Divorce
“For every piece of information,” the writer told me, “about how divorce hurts a child, I can show you research that it doesn’t harm a child.” Admittedly, the writer was a bit biased. He was wanting...
View ArticleSurviving Disconnection
Survival has been the theme for the last few weeks. Not just surviving, but overcoming and thriving. We’ve covered separation, infidelity, conflict, the “Golden Hour,” mistakes, and Empty Nest/Mid...
View ArticleWhen Your Spouse Wants To TALK
“We need to talk,” is the start-up of many conversations with a spouse in marital strife. Those words can strike fear and dread into you. What if things turn south? How do you respond? What do you...
View ArticleCan You Force Connection?
Surely you can convince your spouse to work on your marriage… right? Yes, your marriage is in crisis. But if you say the right thing… or say it in the right way… or convince, beg, cajole, argue, and...
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